I wrote a much better entry about marriage on August 1 of last year. Funny thing about blogs, you forget what you wrote in the past and good stuff gets lost. I'd say that on average my entries in here really aren't all that thrilling, but every so often I do have something worthwhile to say. So, last weekend or so I may have been pondering and musing about things, and maybe it made some sense, but last year's entry conveyed everything so much better.



Summer is wedding season isn't it... that would explain why I seem to think about and write about weddings more during the summer months. :)



A couple of things have evolved since I wrote last year about my dreams for my own wedding:



1. Ceremony location. This was such a hard one to let go of, because I have always dreamed of getting married at Nelson Church. My parents were married there. My grandparents were married there. I am a sucker for traditions like that. But I don't think it is meant to be. Yes, because I am [oh no, not that word again] Catholic. It's cool though. :) The more I have thought about it, the more I realize I love the idea of having a full wedding Mass in a Catholic church. Communion and everything. My parents will hate the idea, but they'll get used to it. And as far as family tradition, maybe it won't be the same location but I'm sure there are other things to incorporate. My mother's wedding dress, perhaps. :)



2. Processional music. I think it was... about 2 1/2 years ago that I got myself stuck on the idea of having Disney music. In particular, the theme from Beauty and the Beast as I walk down the aisle. I've moved pretty well away from that now, for a few reasons. First, no matter how beautiful the song is, and even without the words, every single person would be thinking "Beauty and the Beast". And they'd look at me. And they'd look at Joe. And they'd burst out laughing. Especially Joe's uncles. ;) But seriously, there's no escaping the context of that song. The focus of the ceremony should be on the sacrament, and the music should serve to encourage that, not to draw away from it. Second (and more important) reason for dropping it is, I came up with the idea while I was dating Ryan, with the presumption that I would be marrying Ryan. I don't really think I need to explain that one. So while I would love it at somebody else's wedding, I don't think it will work at mine. :) You know what I mean?



Just some stupid stuff I've been thinking about. Because it's wedding season. You know how it is. Or maybe you don't. :P Or maybe it's really just an escape from my real life. Actually that's quite probable.



Real life at the moment is frustrating. My job situation is precarious. Searching and applying is stressful, especially since I am trying to work 40 hours a week AND apply at the same time. I've sent out a bunch of resumes but not heard much of anything yet. I have to make follow-up calls but I obviously can't call from here, you know? I wish it would come to me gift-wrapped on a silver platter like last time. I wish I felt as confident in my abilities as I sound in my cover letters. I hate having that big question mark looming in front of me again. Working week-to-week, wondering when I'm going to get laid off, wondering if I will ever see my former coworkers again, working on projects that seem pointless, wondering how many more paychecks I'm going to see and whether I'll be able to put in my two-weeks notice or if I'll go on unemployment first. You know. It's just not fun stuff to think/worry about... so instead I let my head wander off into considering what pieces might fit the bill as something I could picture myself walking down the aisle to, in a few years, even though it's not the least bit relevent to today.