The lyrics to my unofficial birthday song, which is the best pirate song of all time. No contest. :D
The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything
by the VeggieTales
we are the pirates we don't do anything
we just stay at home, and lie around
and if you ask us, to do anything
we'll just tell you, we don't do anything
well I've never been to Greenland
and I've never been to Denver
and I've never buried treasure in St Louis or St Paul
and I've never been to Moscow
and I've never been to Tampa
and I've never been to Boston in the fall
we are the pirates we don't do anything
we just stay at home, and lie around
and if you ask us, to do anything
we'll just tell you, we don't do anything
and I've never hoist the main sail
and I've never swabbed the poop deck
and I've never veered to starboard, cause I've never sailed at all
and I've never walked the gang plank
and I've never owned a parrot
and I've never been to Boston in the fall
we are the pirates we don't do anything
we just stay at home, and lie around
and if you ask us, to do anything
we'll just tell you, we don't do anything
I've never plucked a rooster
and I am not too good at ping-pong
and I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall
and I've never kissed a chipmunk,
and I've never gotten head lice
and I have never been to Boston in the fall
and I've never licked a spark-plug
and I've never sniffed a stink bug
and I've never painted daisies on a big red rubber ball
and I've never bathed in yogurt
and I don't look good in leggings
And I've never been to Boston in the fall!
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The last two verses, of course, being my favorites. :D
Picture yourself as the attendant at the top of the log flume ride, where you sit all day in the hot sun watching annoying kids float by in plastic logs. Now imagine hearing this song coming toward you as you man your perch, sung loudly and jubilantly off-key by a pair of twenty-somethings who really should be too old for plastic logs and pirate songs.
Come on now. Don't you wish you were singing in the boat? :D