My alarm went off at 5:30 this morning and I whacked at the snooze button and thought, "Do I REALLY need to get up? Can't I just stay in bed? I can skip... It's not like I'll actually be DOING anything today..." Alas, but the mindset of the college student doesn't cut it in the real world. I knew I needed to get up, take a shower, get dressed, eat breakfast, brush my teeth, and drive to Buffalo. I did it yesterday. I'll do it tomorrow. And the day after that.

And then it hit me: this is my life now. This is what I'm going to be doing every weekday (except for holidays) for at least the next two years, probably longer. The thought, to be honest, was depressing. Yesterday was a long day. I didn't actually DO anything, but I think that's why it was so long. The realization the ALL of my days will be that length was kinda weird. I've never worked full-time before. At previous jobs, an eight-hour day was usually followed by either a four-hour day or a day off. And school hasn't been an all-day ordeal since eleventh grade, and even then there were study halls and band practice to make the day go by. I'm not trying to complain here, I'm just pointing out that this is something completely new to me.

I'll tell you... once all these thoughts started hitting my head this morning, I wanted nothing more than to turn off the alarm, curl up under my quilt, and sleep for another six hours. Who needs a job? Put me back in college. I KNOW college. I'll just get another degree, or two, and be a lab proctor for the rest of my life. Why should I subject myself to waking up at 5:30 every morning, wasting time, gas, and money on a commute, and giving up my entire day, five days a week? What's the point? Why should this BE my life now?

I rolled over in my gigantic double bed and laid my head on the other pillow -- and had my reason. Because I want things that I can't have if I remain a college student for the rest of my life. The only thing I wanted right at that moment was to open my eyes and see a face there, smiling at me. To know that every morning when I open my eyes I'll see that smile. You've got to put the time in for something that incredible. You have to do things you don't want to do, in order to get the things you want. You go to work every day so you'll have a home to come back to every night. You do the best you can for the people you love, because if you're not willing to do that, you don't deserve them.

So I crawled out of my nice warm bed and I came to work today. (And so far I'm getting paid to write in my blog, but not every day will be like this.) It's not going to be easy, but I'll adjust, and I'm sure I'll perk up once my paychecks start rolling in. ;) (Yeah, I know money can't buy happiness... but nothing in life is free.) If everybody else can do it, so can I.