Sometimes I feel so lost.
On my mind today... news story about a girl who had an invalid first Communion.
This is actually old news, in the sense that I heard about it earlier in the week (from my board of course), wrote off the mother, and moved onward. But then I read about it this morning in someone's blog. Someone who I don't actually know (yeah, that's always weird) but who I'm fairly certain isn't Catholic, yet she was for some reason infuriated by this. I really didn't get that. But whatever.
I've been reading St. Therese's book again. I think I've been in a spiritual ditch of sorts recently and it's nice reading her words. She inspires me.
I'm not making much sense I guess; I don't really have a direction to go in here. My final thought about the little girl and her Communion comes down to this: everyone has crosses to bear. Jesus told us to pick up our crosses and follow Him. I feel for the little girl, I really do. But the fact is, the Catholic Church requires wheat bread for the Eucharist. It's tradition, always has been. Only wheat bread is considered valid matter. Why? Because that's what Jesus used. Wheat bread, and grape wine.
This little girl's cross is that she has celiac sprue disease; same with her mother. This does NOT mean they can't receive the Blessed Sacrament. It means they may not be able to receive the Host. They CAN receive the Precious Blood. Our Church believes that Jesus is fully present body, soul, and divinity under BOTH species. Yet, the mother stubbornly insists on the Host. And since they can't eat wheat, it must be changed to allow rice. She doesn't want to pick up her cross and carry it; she'd rather have the Church carry it for her. Or worse, she may turn her back on it and walk away.
Obviously I don't know the whole story, but still. Faith means CHANGING YOUR LIFE TO ACCOMODATE GOD'S WILL. America is such a selfish society that it doesn't understand that anymore.
So that is my little rant today. Faith means conform yourself to the teachings of the Church; not conform the Church's teachings to convenience yourself. I've thought about this a lot over the past year. I think it has a lot to do with how I ended up Catholic. Learning obedience. Humility. Giving up certain thoughts about life and conforming to new ways of thinking. Obedience sets you free I think. Christ sets you free, if you follow Him. Listen to Him. Obey Him. And that means... obey His Church.
It's hard still, being Catholic. My faith's been dry lately and I'm not sure what to do about it. I think I need some more friends I can talk to about it. My message board has been great, especially the Women's Board, just for reading the perspectives of others who think like me. Women, wives, mothers... I can't contribute much because I'm not in the same place in my life, but I learn so much just from listening.
I'm looking forward to Confession tomorrow. Maybe I'll see if there's any way I can help with RCIA this fall. I need something to do.
I have a jumble of thoughts running through my brain but for now... I shall away. :)