I was sent an email survey yesterday, and I decided to fill it out. And, because I'm kind enough not stuff inboxes with trash like email surveys, I'm instead posting it here.

1) When's your birthday? Three weeks from today.
2) Where do you live? I'm a Hamburger. :D
3) Have you visited all 50 states? Nope.
4) Have you ever traveled abroad? Yup, I've been to France. And Mexico, and Canada, if those count.
5) Do you like to travel? Love to! Planes, trains, boats... even car trips are great with the right company!
6) Describe a funny/crazy/freaky experience you had while traveling: Vroom!
7) What's your favorite animal? Joe. :D
8) Do you have a pet? Ask me again in October. o:)
9) Do you think hunting is wrong? Personally, I enjoy hunting Killer Attack Dear.
10) Describe a funny/crazy/freaky experience you had with animals: "A bear! I swear it was a bear!" (It was a cow.)
11) So what school do you go to? HAHAHAHAHAHA
12) Are you smart? summa cum laude, baby!
13) What are your average grades? 3.83
14) What class are you? Cazenovia HS Class of '99, SUNY Fredonia Class of '03
15) Do you like your school? I did, when I went there.
16) True or false: There are some things you just can't learn in school: Duh. But schools ARE a great place to learn to deal with bureaucrats. (This is a good answer so I'm leaving it.)
17) Describe a funny/crazy/freaky experience you had at school: See question #150.
18) How often do you brush your teeth? once or twice a day
19) What's your favorite flower? I'm a sucker for roses. (Show me a girl who isn't!)
20) How about your favorite book? The Harry Potter series (year 3 is my favorite so far), the Ramona Quimby series (can't pick a favorite of those), Number the Stars, and a great many books that I read as a kid. Not that I don't appreciate more age-appropriate reading. I've just yet to find anything that pulls at my heartstrings in quite the same way.
21) TV show? Friends, Simpsons
22) Sport? Hockey, of course.
23) Homemade meal? Homemade by who? Anything homemade is pretty good by me, even if it's Hamburger Helper.
24) About how long are you on the Internet per day? 8 or more hours, Monday through Friday. (Cut me a break, I do web development for a living.)
25) Do you get along with your family? I get along with them better when I'm not in the process of converting to Catholicism.
26) Would you do anything just to get out of your house for one day? No, I love my house! I'm the only one who lives there! Muahaha!
27) Are there days when you'd rather be at school than at home? In its present state, this question is not applicable. Change "school" to "work" and the answer is no. Home is always better.
28) Are your parents divorced? Oddly enough, no.
29) If so, for how long? N/A
30) Is family life chaotic for you? *shrug* Not particularly.
31) Would you rather bungee-jump or fight with your parents? Bungee jump.
32) Would you bungee-jump ever? Probably, if I had the opportunity... it's not at the top of my to-do list though.
33) Are you a risk-taker? Depends on what the risk is.
34) Would you skydive? Yeah!!
35) Scuba dive? Sure.
36) Dive off the high dive? Prolly more likely to cannonball off the high dive... but yeah. :)
37) Dive into a pool of Jell-O? Might be interesting.
38) Would you ever skinny dip? Certainly, with the right person. :)
39) Streak? Not unless you count streaking through my house.
40) Go to a nudist beach? Um... well... I'm open to the idea, with the following stipulations: 1. I go only with someone I actually WANT to see in the nude. (That means, my hubby.) 2. I know NO ONE ELSE that is there. 3. Preferably, everyone else is speaking a different language. So, if I'm vacationing in Europe with my husband someday, then maybe... just so I could say I did it... but he probably wouldn't want to anyway. :)
41) If you answered "no" to number 40, why not? I did not answer "no".
42) But I'm assuming that you would go to a "regular" beach, right? Well, duh.
43) How often do you go to the beach? Not as often as I'd like.
44) Do you ever work out like crazy before you go to the beach in hope of getting a good body to show off at the beach? No. I think my body's not so bad the way it is.
45) Describe a funny/crazy/freaky experience you've had while at the beach: Mega-bubbles at Point Gratiot.
46) Given the chance, would you live at the beach? Wouldn't be my first choice.
47) Have you ever surfed? Nope.
48) Have you ever body-surfed? Nope.
49) Have you ever been at the beach in the middle of a rainstorm? Don't think so.
50) Have you ever been stuck anywhere in the middle of a rainstorm? Hasn't everyone?
51) Suppose it's sprinkling outside. Would you typically use an umbrella or wear a hat? Or neither?: I generally carry my umbrella along, in case it starts raining harder, but while it's sprinkling I just put up my hood.
52) Studies show that your chances of being struck by lightning are tripled if you are holding an umbrella in the middle of a thunderstorm. That's nice.
53) Do you know anyone who's been struck by lightning? No.
54) Do you know anyone who has died? Yes.
55) Did you cry? Yes.
56) Do you tell your loved ones "I love you" on a daily basis? No, I don't.
57) Have you ever loved someone so much it's made you cry? Yes.
58) Have you ever fallen in love with someone else? Someone else other than who? Someone other than me? Absolutely. :)
59) Have you experienced "true love"? Yes.
60) Do you believe in love at first sight? No. I believe in lust at first sight.
61) True or false: There's somebody out there for everybody: If you know what you want and where to look.
62) Do you go through partners quickly? I'd have to say no.
63) What do you look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend? I look for someone I can picture myself being married to.
64) WHERE'S QUESTION 64????
65) Do you go out with people just for their looks alone? No.
66) Do you undress people with your thoughts? Only certain people. *innocent smiley*
70) Are you a virgin? No.
71) Do you think oral sex is sex? Yes.
72) What are your thoughts about teen pregnancy? Teenagers are stupid.
73) True or false: Premarital sex is wrong: True.
74) True or false: You should only have sex with someone when you're truly in love: False. You should only have sex with someone when you're truly MARRIED to them. :P
75) Given the chance, would you be willing to have a one-night stand with someone? No. I get into things for the long haul.
76) Do you think you would get a thrill out of going to a club, having a one-night stand with someone, then wake up the next morning with a total hangover and not remember what you did last night, and to find that the person that was with you is nowhere to be seen, and you find $50 missing from your wallet? No.
77) Do you plan on saving sex until you're married? Yes.
78) Are you planning on getting married? Most definitely.
79) At what age? Before I'm 25.
80) Do you want to have a big, spectacular wedding with everyone you know or a small, traditional, get-together-with-family-and-close-friends wedding? Uh... closer to the second, I'd imagine. I don't exactly know what "big" and "small" are in terms of weddings.
81) Do you plan on having kids? Yes.
82) If you answered "yes" to number 81, how many are you planning to have? Twins every nine months for 22 years.
83) Are you more interested in having a conformative, all-American, white-collared job, married, living in a suburban home, a dog, and 2.3 kids, or more interested in living a non-traditional, action-packed life? I lean more toward the traditional.
84) What's your favorite smell? Joe. (Yes, I'm a dork. But I like the way he smells.)
85) Movie? Umm... oddly enough I don't know the answer to this anymore.
86) Actor and actress? Kermit the Frog and Miss Piggy.
87) Beverage? Milk.
88) Music type? Oh, bah. I like everything. Name any genre, I'm sure I can give you a song I like from it.
89) Musical artist? Triumph.
90) Would you ever want to be on "Survivor"? No.

91) How about "Who Wants to be a Millionaire"? No.
92) "The Weakest Link? No.
93) Are you the weakest link? No. You are. Goodbye.
94) Are you a TV fan? Not really.
95) Are you an aspiring actor? No.
96) Are you a sports fan? I'm an aspiring sports fan.
97) Are you an aspiring athlete? I'm an aspiring healthy person.
98) Would you want to live in a big city? Ooh, ooh. Do I live close enough to count?
99) If you answered "yes" to number 98, which city(ies) would you like to live in? Buffalo-y, where it's snowy!
100) Are you a perfectionist? To a fault.
101) It's the 101st question. Do you like the movie "101 Dalmations"? Not as much as the book.
102) Does anyone you know remind you of Cruella de Vil? Madame McMahon used to.
103) Are you afraid of failure? Yes. This goes back to being a perfectionist.
104) How about rejection? That depends. Was I rejected for failing?
105) Michael Jordan didn't make one of his high school basketball teams. When Barbara Walters first started out in journalism, she was told that she would never make it in television. With these things in mind, are you still afraid of failure and rejection? You can't change me with your uplifting anecdotes.
106) Do you like anybody at the moment? I like a lot of people. Or do you mean "like" like? *Concludes that this quiz was written by a high-schooler.* Yes.
107) If so, who? Joe.
108) Are you straight, gay, or bi? Straight.
109) Do you go on dates often? Yes! :)
110) Do you like to go on double dates? Yup.
111) Blind dates? Does that involve a blindfold? *innocent smiley*
112) Describe a funny/crazy/freaky experience you've had while on a date: HA! Nice try.
113) If someone set you up on a blind date, and you were told you were perfect for each other. When you finally meet your date, he/she is not very attractive and smells bad. What would you do in such a situation? 1. I'd be insulted that my friend thought someone with bad hygiene is "perfect for me". 2. I'd be nice. 3. I don't go on blind dates.
114) Are you typically the dumper or the dumpee? This is a terribly insensitive question.
115) How bad do you feel after you've broken up with someone (if you feel bad at all?) This is also a terribly insensitive question.
116) True or false: There are plenty of fish in the sea: True. And a bird in the hand is not necessarily worth two in the bush. Except when it is.
117) Do you believe in fate, meaning that all of our lives are predetermined? I think I believe in free will.
118) Do you think when we die, that's it? No.
119) Are you religious? I think so.
120) Are you a "holy roller"? I don't think so.
121) True or false: 121 is a perfect square: The answer is 11.
122) Do you go to church? Yes.
123) If so, how often? Every week and on holy days of obligation. With exceptions.
124) When was the last time you went to church? August 17. (See... exceptions.)
125) Do you think church is boring? Sometimes.
126) Do you believe in God? Yes.
127) Heaven? Yes.
128) Hell? Do you mean a place full of fire and brimstone where guys in red pajamas poke you in the butt with pitchforks? Nah. (I liked this answer... but truthfully, I do believe in Hell, it's just a lot less cartoony than that.)
129) Reincarnation? No.
130) What about aliens? I believe the technical term is "microbes".
131) Do you think aliens really have abducted Earthlings? The surest sign of intelligent life being out there is that they haven't visited. (Another good answer.)
132) Do you play any sports? Only intellectual ones.
133) Do you work out? I will... eventually... :/
134) If so, how often? see above
135) Do you work out to maintain good health or try to maintain a good body, or both? To be healthy.
136) How fast can you run a mile? Um... 3 weeks? (LOL, previous quiz-taker is on a roll.)
137) Do you drink a lot of bottled water? No. I don't drink a lot of any water. I should though.
138) Can you taste the difference between different kinds of water? Yep.
139) Do you play any musical instruments? Piano. I miss it.
140) How about singing? Do you sing? I do like to sing. :)
141) Do you write music? I've written three songs. I think.
142) How about lyrics? More often than music.
143) What do you like to do when you're bored? Find friends. If friends are not to be found: watch movies, read, write in my blog, fill out retarded email surveys, surf the internet, play computer games, go shopping. Not necessarily in that order.
144) Do you daydream? Certainly.
145) Have you ever been embarrassed in a class because you were daydreaming? Probably.
146) Do you ever get in trouble in school for your behavior? No.
147) Do you get low marks because of your behavior? No. (See questions #12-13.)
148) Are you a class clown? No.
149) Have you ever had detention? Yes.
150) Been sent to the principal's office? Yes. LOL. Seventh grade, for 3 weeks the seventh graders were in the high school building while the middle school renovations were being finished. Since that meant the high school was holding 7 thru 12, there weren't enough lockers, and I got stuck sharing with this girl named Christabel, who was a complete slob... I think I was late to class a couple times just from trying to dig out my books from under all her papers... and one time she had apple juice and it leaked all over everything and started to ferment, so my textbooks smelled like apple cider... One day I finally just got so sick of it that I pulled all of her crap out of the locker and left it in the hall. I think that's the only time I ever got called to the principal's office because I was actually in trouble. :P
151) The last few questions are about people you know. Who's the most likely to become a highly-regarded lawyer? Mike Palmer. Except for the highly-regarded part.
152) An army general? Joe.
153) A professional singer? Jeffy.
154) A movie star? Locke.
155) An award-winning author/poet? Adam.
156) A teen mother? Lindsay. (Not that I hope for this, but of all the people I know, she's the most likely candidate.)
157) And who will be the father? Her husband.
158) A stand-up comedian? Jon.
159) A talk show host? Joe. (Post-army-general days, that is.)
160) A fugitive on the run from the law? The Cow.
161) Describe yourself in three words: All That Jazz
162) Did you like taking this survey? Well, I've been at work for four hours and haven't done a single thing yet. But that didn't answer the question.
163) Was it too long? Yes.
164) Do you plan on sending this to anybody? No. People hate getting these. I'm putting it in my blog.
165) Describe the person that sent this to you in three words: Wyl: Insane Lord Eeyore
CONGRATULATIONS!!! YOU'RE DONE!!! *YAY ME FOR BEING DONE!*