*falls unceremoniously off of cloud nine*

Well it had to happen sooner or later. :) I'd have preferred later, but I'm glad it wasn't sooner. On the bright side, I haven't hit the ground yet. I miss my cloud though.

Today started off pretty shittily. I stayed in bed until 10:30 (after having hit my snooze button for two hours straight) and then didn't have time to do much other than get dressed for school. So I look like crap today, and that never helps my mood. I don't think I slept badly last night, but I do remember having a dream that no one came to Molly's bridal shower, which was kinda sucky. And it's freaking cold outside. Two days ago it was almost eighty. This morning it was thirty-three, grey, cloudy, and just downright glum. So by the time I got to my Computation class (ten minutes late as usual) I was pretty much in the mood to burrow back into my bed and forget the world exists.

I'm feeling a bit better now. Not great, but better than before. First reason is because just as I was sitting down to attempt writing in this thing, who should walk into the lab but Sean, whom I haven't seen since his wedding last summer. That was really cool, and I mean REALLY cool, although I can't exactly pinpoint WHY. :) But just saying hello and making small talk with him improved my mood about 80%.

Next thing was prioritizing my day. I mean there is stuff that I just CAN'T get done this afternoon. I think I was trying to be a little too ambitious when I wrote out my little schedule. So I'm scaling back. My Math and Music class will have to wait; it's not like I don't have room to play around there. I'm not going to be able to make an outline for my paper by this afternoon, and I won't be able to write the essay that I didn't write for Tuesday's class. I do have time to work on it this weekend, so I'm putting it off. Combinatorics is my most important class, so I'll go to church and do my combinatorics assignment tonight. Then tomorrow I've got tutoring, class, 2 jobs to apply for, church, LaTeX homework, and maybe Music if there's time. Saturday is laundry and other chores, Sunday is Easter, and Monday is relaxation. And that's all there is to it.

I'm glad today is Maundy Thursday. I'm glad I'm going to church tonight because if there was ever a day when I needed to go to church, this is it. Plus we'll have Communion at tonight's service, which is another bonus. Here it is Holy Week, the week leading up to Easter, and all that's on my mind is how much work I need to do, how much I'm behind on, how much time I have to spend doing what, how much how much how much. I think my focus is in the wrong place right now. I need to get that work done, yes, and I need to find a job and I need to do my laundry, but I also need to sit back for a minute and think about what this weekend really means. What does it mean to my religion? What does it mean to me? Maundy Thursday is the night of the Last Supper. We touch on it every time we take Communion, but not like this. This is the night we sit and think about everything that went on that evening. Jesus gathered all the disciples together for a meal, actually I think it was the Passover meal, which would make sense because tonight also happens to be Passover. He washed their feet. He said that one of them would betray him. And after they finished eating, he took a loaf of bread and broke it. He passed around a cup of wine. He said "This is my body, and this is my blood." What were the rest of the disciples thinking? Did they know what was going to happen next? What does that really mean -- "my body, my blood"? I'm not sure I've ever really thought about it very carefully. To me it was bread and juice. At the end of the service all the kids would head up and split up the rest of the loaf and gobble it down. The juice in the goblet, full of bread crumbs, got poured down the sink.

"This is my body, which is broken for you. This is my blood of the new covenant, poured out for you and for many, for the forgiveness of sins." Hmm. How often do we forget about that sacrifice? The man's body was broken. They beat him, they pounded nails through his hands and feet, they split him open with a sword. His body was broken, and his blood was spilled, and he died. He DIED. Why? So we could be forgiven. So we could be saved. So we can make peace with God the Father. He died, so we could live. And how do we thank him? The body was broken, and we can't get enough of it. We pour the blood down the sink. We don't take the time to really THINK about what all that stuff means. We eat, we drink, we shuffle back to our seats, check our watches, look up the next hymn in the hymnal, lament that the service runs past its allotted hour on the first Sunday of every month.

I used to think it was silly that the Catholic church did the Eucharist every week. Having it every week, wouldn't that get routine? People would forget what it really means. People wouldn't take the time to think about it. The Methodist church only does it once a month, so they can't help but think about it, right? Wrong. We don't think about it either. It's routine to us too. It's just something we do, once a month, that causes my mother to gripe because she's the one that's got to bake the bread and bring the juice and fill the cup and change the paraments. The Catholics though, they take the time to do it every week. Maybe it does get routine, and maybe they don't always think about it, but you know? Sometimes I think you really need to have Communion. Like today for example, it's something I need to do. And I'm lucky enough that tonight when I go to church, I'll get to have it. But today is an exception, and in general I just have to wait out my allotted weeks until the first Sunday of the month rolls around again. If I were Catholic and I needed it, when I went to Mass it would be there. They can choose every week whether they want to think about it. We get one shot each month, and if we choose to ignore it, well too bad. Four or five weeks will go by before it comes around again.

Apparently I have some really interesting stuff on my mind today. :) Happy Easter everybody.