On Tuesday I finished my big project. Well, until the person calls and tells me what they want added/changed/fixed on it, but so far she hasn't called, and neither has anyone else. So I find myself at work with nothing to do, which sucks a lot more now than I remember it sucking the last time I had nothing to do. Speaking of sucking, I should really phase the word "sucks" out of my vocabulary. But more on that another day.
Joe says I should be learning another language. Specifically Java. He has been telling me this for months, and I have been smiling and nodding. Not that I don't agree that I should learn another language, just that once I actually get here I find myself horribly unmotivated to do anything of the sort. This may have something to do with the fact that the longer I work here, the more I fear that this job is a completely useless waste of time. It's not really so bad. I'm just antsy. I've come to the realization that what I am doing is not what I am meant to do with my life. Which I suppose I already knew, but now I really know it, if that makes any sense, which I'm certain it doesn't. I don't know. There are so many things I'd rather be doing than sitting here. There are so many things I'd rather be doing WHILE sitting here, that I can't do because I have to at least put on the appearance that I am doing something useful, which I'm not. Perhaps I should just find a potentially useful project to pour myself into for awhile. It's not that I don't like my job, it's fun. It's not that I have some sort of opposition to learning new things, I'm all over learning new things, but the things I'm currently interested in learning really have nothing to do with my job. My job, at the moment, has nothing to do with anything, which is why it is bothering me. If I wasn't afraid the company would go under any day, I'd probably not mind so much. When there is work on the horizon, a slow day is welcome. The current state of affairs however, is more slow days than work days, and no work on the horizon, and layoffs over the summer, and the general concensus that we'll be getting an unpaid week (or more) off for Thanksgiving like we did last year. So the work environment is not really all that happening. And if I lose this job I'm going to have to go find another one just like it. Huzzah. Oh well. Who knows, maybe my next job will be something more useful. I guess the other problem is the feeling I have that making websites is mostly a waste of time, it isn't a meaningful career, it doesn't add anything meaningful to the grand scheme of human life, and I could better be spending my energies in some other field. Maybe doing something good for humanity. And/or writing. Oh well. I think I am just having a job identity crisis, brought on by the fact that I have this ever-impending looming feeling that it might end any day. Stupid work.
Blah.
I was gonna take some time to list some of the things I've been filling my time with in the three days I've had nothing better to do, but, as it turns out my boss just handed me something to work on. What are the odds. ;) Definitely not going to complain about THAT though! :D
PS to Joe: You may be interested to know that I do have a tab open in Firefox to a web page with a tutorial on Java applets. Which is closer than in previous days. ;) Maybe by Monday I'll actually start learning it. :D Or today, if I finish this other thing fast. But I think I'll take my time. ;)