It's official. I am on spring break. As a matter of fact I've been on spring break for nearly two days. A little over two days from right now I'll be boarding a plane with three of my favorite guys on our way down to Miami and the spring break of a lifetime. Honestly I can't believe it's here. I don't think I'll believe it until we step onto that boat. Maybe not even then. :)

I am so happy right now. Not flying high, not bouncing off the walls, just happy. Completely content. In my head I have happy thoughts of the past few days and weeks, of conversations and feelings and ups and downs and touches of hands and certain looks from eyes that I find myself staring into more than is probably healthy. :) On my lap is a little bear named Corky who doesn't yet realize he'll be taking his first cruise in just a couple of days. :) On my desk is a vase full of thriving, colorful carnations, and on my bed is a single white rose that probably deserves its own vase. ;) Somewhere in Hamburg sleeps somebody who really means a lot to me (and who really needs to get more than four combined hours of sleep in two nights!).

What did I do to deserve all this? I have to keep asking myself that, because I honestly don't know. It seems like the last four weeks should have been some of the lowest of my life. I just got out of a relationship that I am still working on getting over, with a person who is also incredibly special to me. It broke my heart to realize that it wasn't going to work out with him. I loved him, and I still do, and I always will. This is something that I think I've been feeling guilty about in some way. I gave my heart away and now I'm trying to take it back so I can give it to someone else; but it doesn't work that way. When you give a piece of your heart to someone, they keep it. You never get it back. (Those are not my words. :) But they are true.) The beauty of love, of the hearts we're given, is that it just gets bigger. I thought I'd given away all I had; I thought in order to give everything to someone else I needed to somehow get it all back first. In reality, I just need to accept that Ryan has a part of me in his soul, and that I have a part of him in mine, and I need to be grateful for that. And I need to be grateful for all the people who've given a little bit of themselves to my new guy, and I need to be happy for all the people he's given a piece of his heart to. That's what love is all about. It just keeps growing, if you let it.

I have no idea whether that made any sense to anyone other than me. :) But who cares, this is my blog after all and that's me trying to put words to what I've been thinking about for the past twenty-four hours.

I'm so happy. I'm so grateful to God for the blessings I've been given over the past month, and always. I must be the luckiest girl in the world, to have so many people that I love and care about, to have so many people who love me and care about me. I don't know how I got here but I hope it never ends, and by that I mean, I hope I never forget again how lucky I am and how grateful I am and how humbling that realization is.

Happy spring break everybody. I know mine is going to be absolutely incredible.