There are so many things I keep wanting to say that I just can't get into words. This doesn't seem like the appropriate place to say them, anyway. Most of it is so personal and private that I want to keep it to myself. And even if I tried to share it, I don't think anyone would understand.
I keep saying this over and over, but it surprised me... I always thought that the minute I got engaged, I'd want to shout it from the rooftops and tell everyone I know. But it wasn't quite like that. It's hard to describe how I felt; on the one hand, I was bursting with excitement that I wanted to share with everyone around me; and yet, on the other hand, I could have kept it a secret, just between the two of us, for days. On Friday night we went to Tops to pick up some bubbly to celebrate, and it was so funny admiring my ring under the lights, snuggling under Joe's arm, sharing little smiles because we had a secret and everyone else in the store was oblivious to it. Saturday morning I took some friends out to run errands, and they kept making fun of me because I had such a big goofy grin on my face, until I finally told them what was up.
Everyone has been so excited, of course, but none as much as me (and Joe, of course!). Maybe that's why it was so much fun having it be our secret. To everyone else, we look pretty much the same. We were already planning on getting engaged this year, already planning on getting married next summer. Now it's "official" but that doesn't actually change our plans. Everyone was expecting it, no one is surprised, nothing is really different except for the ring on my left hand. But I feel so much different. Nothing is different, but everything is. That's the part that nobody understands except Joe.