*places soapbox on ground*

*climbs aboard*



ABSTINENCE!



Brief synopsis of the link: a new study is out showing that teen "abstinence" has no effect on STD rates; that is, teens who pledge abstinence have the same rate of STD's as those who don't. The conclusion being reached in some circles is that abstinence-only education doesn't work, and we should be pushing condom use instead.



Abstinence is absolutely the only method that is 100% effective in preventing pregnancy and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. HELLO. Why would you promote anything else? Do we say, "well kids are all gonna do drugs anyway, so we might as well give them 'safe' ones"? No. We say, "Just say NO to drugs!" Why would you not promote saying "no" to sex?

I love this link. It sorta fits. :P

But we'll put the drugs analogy aside, because the counter-argument will be that drugs are never good for you, while sex at some point must be, because we need sex in order to reproduce. So then, when is sex okay?

When you're married. But you knew I was gonna say that.

(And to clarify, once you're married it's only okay to have sex with the person you're married to. Stop playing devil's advocate.) ;)



At one point our society held pretty well to the belief that sex is an act reserved for married couples. Sometime between then and now, somebody got it into the mind of the general public that it doesn't HAVE to be, because sex is fun and it feels good and it makes people happy, and of course the best thing is to always feel good and be happy! So sex became something that people do for fun, and when they're "in love", but who needs to wait until marriage, because it is just as fun right now as it will be later, and we are all about instant gratification.

Yeah... prior to that you didn't hear much about STD's. But now for some reason you hear about them all the time, they're everywhere, and you've always got to be worried about the risks! I wonder why that is. :P



So what about this study?



First, note that the abstinence pledgers ARE on average delaying sex and having fewer partners. Yes, 88% are apparently falling off the wagon. :P But it's a start. People are human and society is sending them mixed messages. "You shouldn't do this, but in case you do..." And it's generally accepted, expected, nowadays for everybody to be having sex, married or not, teenagers or not.

Abstinence is no easy thing. It takes two committed people in a relationship to be able to abstain. A pledge is only as strong as the person who makes it. My personal opinion is that people have a tendency to fall into what society expects of them. Society expects them to have sex. The people they hear about, that they look up to, TV movies whatever, are all having sex. A few lucky ones have better role models and are able to stick by the pledges they make. The other ones try, but are inevitably weak. To accomplish something, the average person has a better chance if he is surrounded by support, encouragement, and the general attitude that what he's doing is right. Abstinence, in our society at large, is at present almost doomed to failure... what we need to do is change society's attitude about sex. :P The abstinence pledges are at least heading back in the right direction.



Second, regarding the spread of STD's among those who pledge abstinence. This related story on Yahoo says "The study, funded largely by the National Institutes of Health, found that these teenagers were also less likely to use condoms when they did have sex because they had not paid attention to sex education." This one implies to me that the people who conducted this study are basically saying that teens who pledge abstinence are ignorant. I don't think that's true. I pledged abstinence, but I know as much about STD's as probably anybody else. In fact, the study we did on abstinence in my youth group actually talked about all different types of STD's you can get and what they can do to you. It's not like we don't know about STD's, or pregnancy, or different types of "protection".

But look at it this way: teens who pledge abstinence are in essence saying that the best protection is not to have sex at all. They're NOT planning to have sex... so why would they have condoms handy when that moment, that they aren't planning to have, arrives? Let's give them a LITTLE credit here. Having condoms around "just in case" is setting yourself up to fail. It's like a person who's trying to quit smoking carrying around a pack of cigarettes. So... I guess what I'm saying is that these teenagers are probably less likely to use condoms. not because they don't know about them, but because they just don't have any.



From another related story on Yahoo:"Pat Fagan, who researches family and cultural issues at the Heritage Foundation, cautioned that one-time pledges were different from abstinence-only education, which he said takes years of support and education. He noted that the virginity pledges delayed sex and led to fewer partners."



*nodnodnodnodnodnodnodnod*

To repeat, "...one-time pledges were different from abstinence-only education, which he said takes years of support and education."



"Just say no" doesn't quite work on sex... By the time you get to a point where the question actually would come up, you're so far into the heat of the moment that your body is saying something very different from your mind. People fail at abstinence pledges because they are pledging to abstain from "sex" itself... not from all the stuff that leads up to it. Abstinence-only education has to be teaching kids to avoid the situation entirely. You can't fall into the Grand Canyon if you never enter Arizona. :P



In conclusion, if any logical conclusion can be drawn from my rambly ranting, we can NOT give up on abstinence-only education! We should be working to improve it! Let's raise the bar and actually hold our kids to certain standards. They shouldn't be having sex until they're married. We shouldn't be condoning the practice. We shouldn't be saying "Use a condom, every partner, every time." We should be saying "Don't want STD's? DON'T HAVE SEX."



Oy.



I take this issue very personally, having been one of those 88% of teenagers who pledged to abstain, and then didn't. And then I broke up with the guy. And now I'm in love and hoping to marry someone else. And he was able to hang on to his promise. And I wish, like you'll never understand, I wish I'd never broken mine.



Abstinence, kids. Don't give up on it! It's the only way. Surround them in a culture that promotes abstinence and see what great things they start doing.



Reality, folks, is that our culture of sex is a sad and disturbing place to grow up.



*steps down from soapbox and staggers off to bed*