This morning at my check-up, the nurse brought the doppler over to check the baby's heartbeat. Yesterday baby was on my right side all day: I felt jabs and flutters and poking from my hip up to just under my rib. So I wasn't surprised when she put the doppler on that side first. She slid it up down and over, but no heartbeat other than my own pulse. Moved to the other side, and there -- a wisp of that swish-swish, just for a second. Then quiet, accompanied by a twitch in my abdomen as baby moved out of the way. And so it went for the next couple of minutes, baby making irritated thumps and rolls as the nurse chased it all over my belly with the doppler. At one point, the annoyed little one directed a kick (or perhaps a punch?) directly into the wand. Eventually the nurse was able to get an estimate of the heart rate and remove the offending piece of equipment. I was just amused to see (er, feel) the baby reacting so strongly to an outside influence.
Sometimes I think it would be cool to have a window into my uterus. To be able to see what baby is actually doing at a given time, and whether it's a hand poking into my hip bone or a foot extending up under my rib, or what movements correspond to all those little spasms I feel throughout the day. I'm not one to describe pregnancy as a magical time, but babies, babies are magical. I've mentioned before that I've felt a bit disconnected at times, knowing of course that what's in there is a baby, yet somehow not fully comprehending this. At our last Bradley class, we watched a video of some births, and once again there was that "oh yeah" moment, the same type of thing I had at early appointments before I could feel our little mover. Oh yeah, there's something alive in there with its own heartbeat! Oh yeah, it's shaped like a baby! Oh yeah... after all those hours of labor and pushing, you get a real, live, flesh-and-blood baby. With hair (or not) and a face and hands and feet. Stupid as it sounds, especially now when I'm feeling movement constantly, it still seems a bit unreal. I can still almost write things off as involuntary muscle spasms or maybe even gas. If I could see inside, maybe I would "get it" more. But I guess I'll just have to be patient.